I have had occasion to think of earlier crimes. To whit, the beginning of my working life.
Following the merest sixteen years of pisspoor education (thanks, Private Eye) I began the barter system of labour and coins in the centre of London. A humble clerk in the battery farm that was Finsbury Data Services, I joined a raft of graduate refugees from Thatcher's economic bloodbath. Sorry, chickens and water imagery don't mix, do they...not unless you are making soup.
It was certainly the case that advancement at FDS relied heavily upon someone leaving the comfort zone that was Relax House. Unless one moved to Marketing, at which the clerks collectively sniggered homophobically, due to the Chairman being inclined to port. You should know that Marketing was his pet department, and Cowes was his weekend apartment for his 'pets'. Needless to say, there were plenty of nine-bob clerks, but they assumed the majority verdict. I bit the pillow - sorry, the bullet! - and never looked forward again.
Years later, realising that there is no such thing as a good business proposition, or a safe way to earn money other than bowing to the corporate God, I am due tomorrow to present myself to the Amazon. I believe she dispenses books and music from her many repositories, and I hope to join the troop of baboons hurling the stock from shelf to jiffy-bag. You will imagine my deep delight at such a prospect, although I am not yet sure that I will make the grade following the induction course. At least I may be able to read one or two of the books...
...and I love baboons: one of the hardest and funniest animals with which a man could work.
As usual, there is something that binds my compost: Blue Arrow. In recent days the Blue Arrow has effected agency between myself and the Amazon. Which fact prompted me to think of Sir Michael Ashcroft - once Treasurer for the Thatcher Rump - and Tony Berry, once director of Harry and his Hotspurs. They were involved in a scandal in the late Eighties, early Nineties related to their involvement with Blue Arrow, Recruiters to the Gentry.
You see, a clerk never forgets...
Such knowledge is too wonderful and excellent for me: I cannot attain unto it. (Psalm 139).
Unless, of course, you can get a job packing books.
Oh, and the title tonight is Thomas Jefferson's, although cut from the original. He is the man whose Declaration of Independence offered life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. (Great film, by the way!) He also opined that all men are created equal: oh, Tom!
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