Bingo Little

A couple of weekends past the return fixture was held. Salfordia visited the brickfields of Old Bedford. And bingo was the required northern pastime! We found it, to our surprise, and further, we found it populous and remunerative. No idea what was going on, but had time to muse upon good old Plum Wodehouse.

Jeeves is a hero, but Wooster and Little are closer to me - and probably to you. Bertie is a chump (read Lord Mandelson's recent translation for the real word...) and Richard 'Bingo' Little falls in love every other day, loses heavily gambling, and occasionally has to work to support his habits. He never seems to starve, though!

I should have been born idle rich, rather than just idle. It would have suited me to be snorting port at 3 a.m. and dozing through the morning with a valet to serve an appropriate pick-me-up around opening hours. Or then again, perhaps that's what did for the wives?

Anyway, bingo! What a revelation! Hundreds of old people, with a few young mums, clustered around an enormous hangar of a place, all dabbing spots on numbers till the bird comes home to roost. Is the bird a pigeon? I know cows cannot roost.

And, by the way, I number amongst the old in the exit poll. Ponies, monkeys and grands on offer, some telecommunicational wizardry that allows Eddie Waring to call numbers across the globe for life-changing sums, and a mini-casino by the entrance. To cap it all, we meet the manager, get bought drinks, and partake of the luscious buffet pushed out at midnight! Some old dear was observed elbowing her way frantically to the bar as Sunday was the night for prawn mayonnaise. Deep joy for the observateur!

Salfordia spent a good deal on online interim bingo...a bad deal, really. The main sessions were lively, but we returned to Sylv Towers on the wrong side of the ledger.

If I was Bingo Little I would have set off for Hurst Park the next day, hoping to spring a few bob on the 3.30 which would take me to Goodwood where I knew of a tip in the Queen Mother's Stakes etcetera...

I'm not. And I am broke...but the World Of News Interested About Football starts today, so hoorah for real entertainment.

Love you all lots, England jelly tots.