Two wonderful new leisure options were opened yesterday in this glorious land-of-two-seas. 'Bahrain' actually does mean this - there is a sea-within-a-sea which yields the pearls for which the Gulf of Arabia is famous, and the trade of which supported this isle long before oil was exploited.
'The Monty' has been designed and constructed for well-heeled golfers in the middle of our stunnning new property opportunity at Riffa Views. Sir Monty himself hit the inaugural tee-shot, and was joined on the course by other luminaries including Sir Redgrave and Der Becker. All are remunerated copiously to provide Ambassadorial services for the Kingdom around the globe. They all seemed to enjoy a sunny round of golf, too.
Elsewhere, in Manama City, the World of Construction unveiled its latest thrilling ride. A 45-storey block of apartments is close to completion, and the lifts were due to be tested. Eleven of our fine Indian labourers were urged to undergo the weight-related testing, and imagine their stomach-clenching joy as the lift plummeted from top to bottom slightly faster than the manufacturers intended. Speaking from hospital, the workers were pleased that the brake cable had manifested its usefulness in time to spare them more severe enjoyment than broken legs, arms and backs. Miraculously, not one suffered anything more damaging.
Happily there are many more migrants willing to fill their posts while these joyriders recover.
After all, we pay them around 75 Bahraini dinars each month, much of which they are zealously sending back to their homelands. It is also fortunate if you are from the Philippines, as you will be able to lavish your 95BD a month from easy toil in our restaurants amongst our well-stocked souks. Moreover, should you be both from the Philippines and also have engineering qualifications you will receive a King's ransom of around 800BD every payday. Indubitably the island is gracious in rewarding its immigrant skills.
For an easy comparison, the BD is pegged to the dollar, to ensure no difficult fluctuations such as happen with our cousins' Saudi riyal. Currently one BD equals around 160 of your British pence, so you can imagine how well our eastern friends live in this island. As an indicator, it would be usual for any white expatriatates to be earning a paltry 3,000BD each month. It is surprising that so many of them want to stay.
On this note of exchange I am off to check my share prices. The island is not immune to the troubles of the global credit crunch, but we fail to see why we should help out. After all, what did the British ever do for us?
Ker-ching!
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